


growing: a process

by ewagan



Series: Sportsfest 2018 [16]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 17:49:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15296805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ewagan/pseuds/ewagan
Summary: “Hey Mattsun, do you think we’re growing up?” he asks.





	growing: a process

**Author's Note:**

> Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.  
> ― James Baldwin
> 
> prompt [here](https://sportsfest.dreamwidth.org/8539.html?thread=1112923#cmt1112923)

Oikawa graduates from high school much the same way he did middle school: with a touch of regret, a few close friends, and far too much sleet. He doesn't really mind the cold, the slow emergence of spring, and all the growing up he has to do, but it still hurts to think they didn't get as far as they could have. That even after three years, he is still here, feeling like this.

You can love something deeply and try very hard, but sometimes things just don’t work out. _Not everything is a war to be won, Oikawa._ Matsukawa tells him on the train home, after one of their dinners before everyone goes their separate ways for university. He’s right, because Matsukawa always manages to be right about these things, but Oikawa wishes that this was something that felt a lot less like losing.

It is something he takes with him to university, nestled in the folds of his volleyball jacket, tucked between pages of new notebooks. He calls Iwaizumi too often and stays up too late texting Matsukawa or Hanamaki, makes new friends, throws himself wholeheartedly into his new university life.

Summer, he goes home. His sister's house is he same, the tiny garden and curling vines winding itself around the drainpipe, now taller than Oikawa. Takeru barrels into him for a brief hug before he's off, running to go play with his friends. Oikawa watches him go with the bemused exhaustion of an overworked college student, while his sister laughs at his stories about figuring out how to be an adult.

_You’re growing up,_ she says with a fond smile. She reaches for his hand across the dining table and squeezes it, and he wonders when did all of them grow up this much, that she’s a mum and a capable adult with a child of her own while he’s in college, teetering between the edge of still being a child and adulthood himself. It doesn’t seem that long ago when he was begging her to take him to the summer festival, clinging to her hand while she bought him candied apples and caught goldfish with an admirable ease.

Matsukawa’s the only other one back for the summer; Hanamaki’s gotten a part time job and Iwaizumi’s at his grandmother’s. So he goes over and they watch Gundam, giant robots fighting faraway wars in space.

“Hey Mattsun, do you think we’re growing up?”he asks.

“I guess?” Matsukawa’s eyes are glued to the screen, he’s clearly far more invested in the show than Oikawa is.

“I don’t feel very grown up.” Oikawa says, amidst the clashing of robots. Oikawa’s not sure who’s winning, honestly. Something in his voice must have caught Matsukawa’s attention, because Matsukawa’s turning to look at him like he does sometimes, like he hears what Oikawa’s not saying in all these circles he likes talking himself into.

“We don’t have to rush it.” Matsukawa says, eventually. Somehow, it’s exactly what he needs to hear, even with the faint strains of the ending theme and one of the characters yelling in the background. Matsukawa nudges him gently with his shoulder, and Oikawa smiles, even if it feels wobbly and unconvincing.

**Author's Note:**

> Any comments and kudos appreciated. <3 you can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ewagan)


End file.
